CAPCOM: Ultimate Super Muff Cabbage 3 Championship Edition

A couple new ones with a lack of returning characters


Here comes a new challenger!  Oh did I say new?  Because what I meant was a rehash of the same shit over and over again.  Capcom re-releasing a game with a new cover and added features is not a new concept, but a shenanigan they’ve kept up since the early 90′s.  Now 20 years later, it continues with Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3.   The game, slated for release later this November, is only 9 months apart from it’s predecessor (616)Marvel vs Capcom 3.  The new version promises new characters, levels, costumes and addresses balancing issues from the previous game but essentially it’s still the same game.  Capcom expects you to pay $40 for moderate improvements that players may or may not have wanted in the first place.  For those that haven’t purchased the first release, this is welcome news.  However, fans that had been waiting 10+ years for part 3 to ever see the light of day, it’s a rape in the mouth.  It’s like a dragon punch to the teeth.  It’s like an optic blast to the genitals.  It’s an ice beam to your muff cabbage.  You get the point.  Ironically, Ice Man, nor Cyclops are even featured in the game despite being main staples in every previous incarnation of the series, from Street Fighter vs X-Men all the way to MVC2.

He’s wondering why Emma, Bobby, Kitty and himself aren’t in the game yet!

Damn Capcom and their incongruities!

I wish I could quit you, Capcom!


Even more baffling, is the fact that the only 2 DLC characters, Jill Valentine and Shuma Gorath, are still just that.  Marvel’s orignal reason for having them as DLC was that the characters weren’t ready by the games’ release date and they would be released at a later date for $5 each, which is a ridiculously high price.   With the DLC characters slated to be in the original game from the beginning, why wouldn’t Capcom just include them right out of the box instead of charging you $10?  At this point, there is really no excuse to not add them.  If you already bought them, I’m sure your DLC would transfer over….or you’re just fucked.  Further evidence to support that Capcom treats it’s fans like money cows.  Instead of rewarding it’s fighting game fans, Capcom continues to abuse them.  Fans of few other genres would be less likely to purchase an upgraded version of essentially the same game, at close to full price.  Imagine Modern Warfare 2 that included new skins for multiplayer, several new levels and 5 new guns, all of which were supposed to be part of the original release, hitting store shelves 9 months after the original game and at $40.  FPS fanboys would rip Activision a new asshole.  They’d probably still buy it, but Activision wouldn’t hear the end of it.  Capcom loyalists simply take it in stride with little to no fight(irony), which seems to enable Capcom to continue fucking them…again…and again…and again. Capcom said characters like Punisher and Cable were too close in nature to characters like Chris Redfield.  Then we get X-23, which is essentially Wolverine with a vagina.  Can’t have Ken because he’s too similar to Ryu? Nah, let’s go with Akuma because he’s different!  Go figure.  Capcom has been full of lame excuses when it’s come to MVC3.  Fantastic 4 much?  They’re not even in the game, which is justified by the inclusion of Super Skrull in to the stable.  We’re lead to believe this was Marvel’s suggestion, even though Marvel allowed Capcom access to their wide variety of characters, arguably the sweetest, fappable dreamcast you could ever think of for a game. Which it only makes one wonder when Nemesis (RE series) wasn’t slated to be included, but was later leaked and then confirmed to be in UMVC3. I’m not seeing an MA rating. On the upside to all this we’re getting some pretty decent characters; some welcome some…not so much; Capcom
Frank West
Phoenix Wright
Ghost Rider
Dr Strange
Rocket Raccoon
Iron Fist

Marvel’s Female Roster is Severely lacking…

All around, I’m very pleased with Marvel’s additions. My main beef with Marvels roster in general, is the lack of a real female presence this time around. There are only 4/25 females compared to Capcom’s 8 (unless you count Ameterasu, it’s 9). There are so many good female protagonists and villains for the Marvel U. Ms Marvel, Rogue, Black Widow, Medusa, Emma Frost and Dagger. The latter three would bring very different skillsets that no other character would have in the game. Especially if you mix up Dagger with some Cloak combo’s. Aside from that, where’s the Inhumans presence? No Black Bolt? He has a very unique skillset compared to EVERY other character. And what about ice based characters? There are currently about 9 fire-based characters and others that have 1 or 2 fire based moves. Maybe 2 or 3 characters have an ice-based move but aren’t inherently an ice-based character (looks around for Ice Man). This goes without saying; MEGA MAAAAAAN!!!! You’re posterboy of your franchise isn’t even a representative in the game, despite being the most sought after character for the series. I thought I got robbed of him in SSBB, but this is ridiculous! Capcom had much to improve on this game and I feel they only hit the tip of this iceberg. DHC’s don’t bother me. Lack of characters, especially ones I look forward to seeing, is what irks me most. You can’t fault Capcom for the additions. However, with SSFIV Arcade Edition being DLC as well as it’s own disc, you can’t help but wonder what exactly Capcom was thinking. Will we ever see an end to this?  Will fanboys finally stop adhering to Capcom’s bullshit.  Will Capcom fighting game fans finally get the respect they deserve?  Will my UMVC3 pre-order come with something cool other than useless ps3 skins?  How about my Jill/Shuma free redeemable codes?  How about all character unlocks since I bought the previous game and wasted 50 hours on it just to find another version is already out.  I know this will hardly matter to the hardcore audience because for the pro’s, this is your bread and butter and you will adapt in order to be in top form for your tournaments. For the casual gamer that can’t hook a OTG with a DHC, let alone even know what either of those terms means, it matters a lot. We would never knock innovation, but what Capcom’s doing is borderline exploitation.  Let us know what you think!

Translated via “in-mind” by J. Agamemnon and Prometheus

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No one cared who I was until I put on the monocle... You can follow Prometheus on Twitter @PrometheusPtwor Or contact him at