Games

Street Fighter X Tekken!

The Ultimate Staring contest! This game is real? This game is real. This game is real! I’ll be honest; much of my anticipation for Street Fighter x Tekken is simply the novelty that I never thought a game like this would be made. Hell, it’s a game I never even imagined could work. Honestly, I’m still coping with Street Fighter’s crossover to 3D. I hear there’s a support group for 2D Street Fighter purists, but damn do the graphics for Marvel vs. Capcom 3 look good!  But, MVC is another topic all its own.

Kill/Death Ratio: The Evolution of an FPS gamer

Kill/Death Ratio:  The Evolution of an FPS Gamer This is what happens when you throw bolognese at my crew Battlefield 3 is quite literally just around the corner. I know many of you out there, including myself, are dying with anticipation for the game to release epic, hellatious death upon your retinas, gradually destroying the living tissue in the process. I can’t wait! With the Beta’s end last week, I didn’t have the chance to say good-bye. Not even one last headshot from my beautiful MK11. *sad face* In any case, I, along with my comical cohort Prometheus, had the lesser part of a week’s time to have our grubby, little hands on the Beta… and need we say more? Having my main account banned for a week due to some PSHome discrepancies, I created a new handle (Cozb3Sw3ter) to begin my rampage across the massively, intense greenery of the Operation Metro map. Wow, my eyes had been blown by the lips of a graphical goddess, the likes of which I could never quite describe her unadultered beauty. Or how in the fack of Fockland did she fellatio my eyeballs? Well, it happened and no amount of screams to provide…

Diablo Tres!

  Ah fresh meat! I still remember the first time I squared off against The Butcher. I’m reluctant to admit that my first instinct was to run; scared shitless, as that chubby bastard ran through my firewall like it was a puddle. I shot a few arrows at him which seemed to only piss him off more, if that was even possible. Once I was out of options I had to man up and attack him head on. Needless to say my first attempt to slay him so that their souls my finally rest was not even remotely successful; he killed me the moment his bloody cleaver struck me. Ah yes, this one of my fondest memories of the epic game that was Diablo! Every day after school I would rush home to play it: piling up stacks of gold and the bodies of those who stood in the path of my warrior as I drudged deep into the catacombs. After countless hours of hackin’, slashin’ and spell castin’, Diablo was slain.

CAPCOM: Ultimate Super Muff Cabbage 3 Championship Edition

A couple new ones with a lack of returning characters   Here comes a new challenger!  Oh did I say new?  Because what I meant was a rehash of the same shit over and over again.  Capcom re-releasing a game with a new cover and added features is not a new concept, but a shenanigan they’ve kept up since the early 90′s.  Now 20 years later, it continues with Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3.   The game, slated for release later this November, is only 9 months apart from it’s predecessor (616)Marvel vs Capcom 3.  The new version promises new characters, levels, costumes and addresses balancing issues from the previous game but essentially it’s still the same game.  Capcom expects you to pay $40 for moderate improvements that players may or may not have wanted in the first place.  For those that haven’t purchased the first release, this is welcome news.  However, fans that had been waiting 10+ years for part 3 to ever see the light of day, it’s a rape in the mouth.  It’s like a dragon punch to the teeth.  It’s like an optic blast to the genitals.  It’s an ice beam to your muff cabbage.  You…

Battlefield 3: One Fanboy’s Add-on Dream List

Where’s That CHEESEBURGER!?   The clock winds down as the ultimate battle of the year looms on the horizon.  This October and November, Battlefield 3 hits store shelves everywhere to go p4p against the console champ, Modern Warfare and it’s 3rd installment.   As an ultimate fanboy of the Bad Company 2 series and a former Modern Warfare 2 run-n-gunner, this has me soaking my pants with glee and excitement.  But that’s not what this blog is about.  I’m here just to throw out a few minor adjustments and suggestions that DICE may or may not want to look into before it releases Battlefield 3 later this year.  Some of the things that made Bad Company 2 such a great game can make Battlefield 3 a superb one just by making a couple of tweaks and additions to it’s specs and arsenal.