Street Fighter X Tekken!

The Ultimate Staring contest! This game is real? This game is real. This game is real! I’ll be honest; much of my anticipation for Street Fighter x Tekken is simply the novelty that I never thought a game like this would be made. Hell, it’s a game I never even imagined could work. Honestly, I’m still coping with Street Fighter’s crossover to 3D. I hear there’s a support group for 2D Street Fighter purists, but damn do the graphics for Marvel vs. Capcom 3 look good!  But, MVC is another topic all its own.

Red State Review

Spoiler Alert; this movie a god awful piece of shit. Did I ruin it for you? Sorry, but I’m seriously tempted to conclude my review with just that. Because of the respect I have for Kevin Smith I’ll actually break down why the movie was such a train wreck. It’s honestly taken a herculean effort to find parts of this movie that I actually enjoyed. There’s nothing I enjoyed about that movie, I did my best to try to think of something but I’m sorry I’m only human and I can’t simply manifest matter from my mind. Throughout the film I was on the edge of my seat, restless, just waiting for the credits to roll. I didn’t care about any of the characters, the plot or the subplots all of which went nowhere. It’s sad to think that at one time Mall Rats was considered the black eye on Kevin Smith’s film career despite it being a damn good movie. Then came Jersey Girl; which in comparison to Red State is borderline a masterpiece; a least there’s Liv Tyler to look at. The tragedy of Red State is that Kevin Smith is capable of doing so much better. A…

Kill/Death Ratio: The Evolution of an FPS gamer

Kill/Death Ratio:  The Evolution of an FPS Gamer This is what happens when you throw bolognese at my crew Battlefield 3 is quite literally just around the corner. I know many of you out there, including myself, are dying with anticipation for the game to release epic, hellatious death upon your retinas, gradually destroying the living tissue in the process. I can’t wait! With the Beta’s end last week, I didn’t have the chance to say good-bye. Not even one last headshot from my beautiful MK11. *sad face* In any case, I, along with my comical cohort Prometheus, had the lesser part of a week’s time to have our grubby, little hands on the Beta… and need we say more? Having my main account banned for a week due to some PSHome discrepancies, I created a new handle (Cozb3Sw3ter) to begin my rampage across the massively, intense greenery of the Operation Metro map. Wow, my eyes had been blown by the lips of a graphical goddess, the likes of which I could never quite describe her unadultered beauty. Or how in the fack of Fockland did she fellatio my eyeballs? Well, it happened and no amount of screams to provide…

Avengers Assemble!

It’s only a mild exaggeration to say that I want to cryogenically freeze myself until May 12 of next year so I don’t have to wait 8 agonizing months for the release of the Avengers. In other words, Captain America + Thor + Iron man + The Hulk = ZOMG! So excited! I’ve been beaming with anticipation for this movie ever since it was for announced that the aforementioned characters, Captain America, Thor, Iron man, and The Hulk, were not simply in a shared movie universe but that the movies were actually leading towards an ensemble film. *Gasp!* Each film has its own merit and was able to succeed in making me care about characters that I only had a passing interest in. Marvel Studios did such a good job that I was more excited for Thor than I was for the latest X-men movie and I’ve never picked up a Thor comic in my life. Growing up reading comic books I’ve always been a sucker for crossovers and cameo’s of all sorts so a movie like Avengers is something that I’ve always wanted without even knowing that I’ve always wanted it. I honestly was never a big fan of…

Sons of Anarchy: Operation Belfast

Enroute to Belfast, bitches! “Oh nooooo! My baby! He took my baby!” cried Jax Teller during the season finale of season 2 as an Irishman sailed away with his baby boy. Oh yes, a man who was once an ally, a man who once shared an intimate moment with Juice (Juice put his fingers in his ass, seriously) had turned public enemy number one. All due to a sinister scheme engineered by Agent Stahl. When Agent Stahl was first introduced, I really liked her character. She was so off the wall and bizarre not to mention a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen. But her pension for being a devious bitch quickly overshadowed her charms. The lengths with which she was willing to take to succeed made her the perfect foil for Samcro. While they’re willing to threaten, assault and murder to accomplish their goals, they do so within a loose but existent code of ethics; no women, no children, and try really hard not to kill each other either. Agent Stahl on the other hand, is unbound by even a remote moral code. She even goes as far as killing her own lesbian lover. Perhaps lover isn’t the most…

Sons of Anarchy: The Shield cast as Outlaw Bikers? Not quite…

Goddamn. I recently finished the longest TV binge in my 27 years of life. And it was glorious. I don’t watch much TV aside from my rekindled love affair with X-men the animated series, which you can read about in a previous posting. But X-men aside, the two television series which I’ve held in the highest accord were Lost and the Shield. Well, we all know what happened with Lost. And if you don’t, then consider yourself lucky. Sorry Agamemnon but the Island demanded a sacrifice. So that leaves us with the Shield, an absolute masterpiece of fiction. My love for The Shield was what initially piqued my interest in Sons of Anarchy. There are obvious parallels to be made as both series feature antiheroes, whether they are dirty cops or outlaw bikers. They’ve both committed atrocious acts but, at least for the most part, they do so with a code of honor and a certain charm where you can’t help but root for them. The character archetypes overall lap as well.  Clay Morrow bears a strong resemblance to Vic Mackey, both head strong leaders with an outrageous temper, often witty, and even sympathetic, up to a point. Then there…

Oh How Amazing, Spiderman!

Spider-man, Spider-man, does whatever a spider can. Well, to borrow a line from Snatch, Who the fuck wants to see it!? No, I don’t hate Spiderman in general, I actually hold him in very high regard. He’s easily one of my favorite Marvel characters. But I’m not excited about the new Spiderman movie what-so-ever. Admittedly, I wasn’t excited about X-Men: First Class either and I ended up loving it. So it’s very possible that I’ll end up eating my words. Although I find that doubtful. I admittedly don’t give much regard to any Marvel movie not produced by Marvel Studios; conversely I have fanboy level affection for everything and anything coming out of Marvel studios, so I’m a wee bit biased. So why the hate for the much anticipated Spiderman 4? Oh wait, I mean the “Amazing” Spiderman. I just watched the trailer for it and to put it nicely, I was not the least bit impressed. First of all, do we really need yet another Spiderman reboot? No. But I could live with it if I at least saw something in the trailer that excited or intrigued me but it failed on both accounts. My biggest complaint is the…

Diablo Tres!

  Ah fresh meat! I still remember the first time I squared off against The Butcher. I’m reluctant to admit that my first instinct was to run; scared shitless, as that chubby bastard ran through my firewall like it was a puddle. I shot a few arrows at him which seemed to only piss him off more, if that was even possible. Once I was out of options I had to man up and attack him head on. Needless to say my first attempt to slay him so that their souls my finally rest was not even remotely successful; he killed me the moment his bloody cleaver struck me. Ah yes, this one of my fondest memories of the epic game that was Diablo! Every day after school I would rush home to play it: piling up stacks of gold and the bodies of those who stood in the path of my warrior as I drudged deep into the catacombs. After countless hours of hackin’, slashin’ and spell castin’, Diablo was slain.