CAPCOM: Ultimate Super Muff Cabbage 3 Championship Edition

A couple new ones with a lack of returning characters   Here comes a new challenger!  Oh did I say new?  Because what I meant was a rehash of the same shit over and over again.  Capcom re-releasing a game with a new cover and added features is not a new concept, but a shenanigan they’ve kept up since the early 90′s.  Now 20 years later, it continues with Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3.   The game, slated for release later this November, is only 9 months apart from it’s predecessor (616)Marvel vs Capcom 3.  The new version promises new characters, levels, costumes and addresses balancing issues from the previous game but essentially it’s still the same game.  Capcom expects you to pay $40 for moderate improvements that players may or may not have wanted in the first place.  For those that haven’t purchased the first release, this is welcome news.  However, fans that had been waiting 10+ years for part 3 to ever see the light of day, it’s a rape in the mouth.  It’s like a dragon punch to the teeth.  It’s like an optic blast to the genitals.  It’s an ice beam to your muff cabbage.  You…

X-Men the Animated Series: 19 Years Later

Thank you Netflix! I must say that despite being money grubbing assholes you have reunited me with my childhood love, X-men the Animated Series.  No, not lame ass X-men Evolution, I have no interest in watching X-men meets Saved by the Bell. I’m speaking of the early 90s cartoon series that kept my eyes glued to the screen every Saturday morning at 10:30, Pacific Standard Time. It was not uncommon to find me wearing a makeshift trench coat and gloves with the fingers cut off attempting to throw playing cards at friends and family members.  Yes mon amis, I was and still am an X-men fanatic. That said; don’t mistakenly believe that means that I enjoy everything X-men. On the contrary, I hold X-men, in every medium, to the highest standard. An atrocity like X-men: The Last Stand doesn’t get a by simply because it bares the X-men name. I can actually feel vomit forming in the back of my throat just having thought about that abomination. So let’s move on.   Not many movies or TV shows can withstand the test of time. I know this is a cliché but X-men has most certainly aged like a fine wine….

Battlefield 3: One Fanboy’s Add-on Dream List

Where’s That CHEESEBURGER!?   The clock winds down as the ultimate battle of the year looms on the horizon.  This October and November, Battlefield 3 hits store shelves everywhere to go p4p against the console champ, Modern Warfare and it’s 3rd installment.   As an ultimate fanboy of the Bad Company 2 series and a former Modern Warfare 2 run-n-gunner, this has me soaking my pants with glee and excitement.  But that’s not what this blog is about.  I’m here just to throw out a few minor adjustments and suggestions that DICE may or may not want to look into before it releases Battlefield 3 later this year.  Some of the things that made Bad Company 2 such a great game can make Battlefield 3 a superb one just by making a couple of tweaks and additions to it’s specs and arsenal.

The Netflix Pricing Fiasco: Know Why and What It Could Mean in The Future

Alternatively, scroll down and be done with it!   Juanita had to find new work once her gang leader was busted on illegal distribution charges. Thanks to Netflix, she’s gone legit. According to this interesting article I found on Yahoo, we now know why Netflix decided to separate Dvd-only and Instant Streaming services and then combine them for a price increase that stinks more than the foulest cow pattie.  For $16/month, you can now enjoy 1 dvd out at a time along with unlimited instant movies on your computer/game console (and now DS), up 60% from $10/month for the same service.  So with Netflix finally announcing why they decided to up the pricing on all its deals, I’m here to present their reasons and raise a few questions of my own.  I’m sure many of you have wondered the same thing. In the aforementioned article, “This, as you can imagine, is not a popular decision. This isn’t a cost-of-living increase. This isn’t inflation. It’s a 60 percent overnight price increase – that gives you nothing new in return.”  I know that last bit is what has many customers griping and has them nipping at Netflix’s heels to provide more incentives…

Zombieland Review or: How I Bitched So Much It Became an Adventureland Review

I’m not particularly a huge fan of Jesse Eisenberg.  I don’t dislike him, but you won’t catch me going out of my way to see his films and Zombieland was no exception.  Add on the fact that he’s such a one-dimensional actor, and you have a ‘Liz Lemon Certified’ Deal Breaker.  My hate for Jesse Eisenberg was first seeded in a little piece of shite called, ‘Adventureland.’  WORST 8 F@CKING DOLLARS I EVER SPENT!  $16 if you count my wife….and I don’t….or do, depending on her sexy, hazelnut eyes ever seeing this. Jesse Eisenberg, Y U No Michael Cera?! 2009’s Adventureland was a promising, comical rom-com featuring some of my favorite actors to date;  my man-crush, Ryan Reynolds, the hilarious Bill Hader, the rapidly-rising star Kristen Wiig, and hipster/nerd Martin Starr of Party Down fame (F&G too).  From commercials alone, the movie seemed really funny.  Bill Hader running after people with baseball bats, people getting cock-punched,  Bill Hader being loud and obnoxious, Ryan Reynolds being a womanzier,  corn dogs thrown at faces, awkward boner moments!  What’s not to love?  Well in my humble, but truthful opinion, the movie was crap.